Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have a different job than you currently hold? Of course you do! If you are like me you wonder every day of your life! What would be the ideal job to suit your expectations and showcase your talents. The word "Job" in itself has a certain dark conotation. When my sister was doing her student teaching at the middle school she was wrestling with the "real world demon". Her education professors had painted a picture to these aspiring educators that when they receive their much earned, expensive degree they would venture into the world of young minds hungry for knowledge. This is the point that where Rod Serling enters the picture and tells you that you are entering the Twilight Zone. What hungry minds are they thinking about? My sister spent most of her student teaching crying evenings in dismay at the bag of goods she had been sold by academia. When she started teaching full time she did a lot of complaining. This is when I reminded her of a cold hard fact. First of all...there are very few people that are fortunate to have a job they really enjoy. I tip my hat to those folks. But for the rest of us it is an exercise of endurance. I reminded my little sister that is why they call it a "job". If it was something you enjoyed doing it was called a hobby!
Have you ever thought about those eclectic jobs that no one really ever interviews for? O.K. chicken sexer for instance. When you live on a farm and purchase baby chicks you purchase them according to sex. Roosters are cheaper than hens. Baby chicks all look alike...someone has to set and do this job. Now this is one of those jobs that accuracy is pretty important. Also I wouldn't want to do it with a hang over. Turning those little yeller fellas upside down and giving them a squeeze to see what they got would rank right up there as one of those "burn out jobs". I also thought about another job today that no one ever thinks about. Have you ever looked down the cosmetic aisle in the store? Actually it is more like aisles. Big money and big business here. Just look how much advertising revolves around womens cosmetics. With this comes all kinds of colors of products. Everything from lipstick to eye shadow has a color name. Not just pink or red...but Demure blush and Vivacious Currant. This brings us to the jist of this posting. Who has the job of thinking up all these color names? I must confess that my one indulgence is that I get my nails done. You say...."farm wife that gets her nails done?". But I figure if I have to have one of those full time jobs that is not classified as a hobby this is my treat to myself. I believe along with lipstick colors the number of colors of nail polish are astounding. I wouldn't even venture to guess how many different colors each manufacturer has. On more than one occasion I have speculated about the person that has the job of naming those colors. We have even gone so far as making up naughty color names just for laughs at the salon.
What is this person's job title? Color Nominclature Technologist perhaps? Who does this work? A man, a woman? I can't exactly picture a guy with biceps tatoos sitting in a lab thinking up the name of Peach sorbet or Raspberry Truffle. He would more than likely come up with something like "You Say It's Your First Time Red" and "Slap Me Silly Sienna". See I think I would have a real career in the naughty name market. Something to really reach out and grab you! If there are any Revlon or Max Factor executives out there surfing the blogs I submit these entries for my resume:
Jail Bait Coral, Check Her Driver's License Tangerine, Got a Trust Fund Pink, how about Claw Her Eyes Out Red for a nice nail polish for jealous girlfriends. Now for the more mature market we have Overlook the Liver Spot Rose, Just Another Wrinkle Frost, and don't forget Hot Flash Flourish. Now for the woman on the prowl or the newly divorced we have Alimony Honey, On the Make Frappe and the serve the papers favorite....Kiss My Ass Goodbye and Bend Over Cherise! I think my talents are being wasted by not enriching the cosmetic world with my gift. I could make up some of the best celebrities...Jennifer Lopez-Wait Till It Sags Sangria, Jessica Simpson-Wish I Had Talent Tawny, of course Jennifer Aniston-You'll Be Sorry Copper, Angelina Jolie-Token Orphan Orange, and finally Anna Nicole Smith-If I had a Brain Burgundy.
Oh well. As with so many talented people I will probably go undiscovered. The world of creative cosmetic names is void of real substance. I could add an additional blush to your complection with my saucy cataloging of your color choice "Pretty Cheeky Pink". Or better yet for that more striking evening palette...."Buns on the Beach in Florida Red". 'Nuff Said!
Wasted talent here on the farm in Indiana